I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
its liver damage thursday
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
