he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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