Me too!
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just google imaged poop.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
