one might say we're banned from that church
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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