They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
should my penis look like a turkey
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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