I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize