i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize