Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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