she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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