I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
