"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
