Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
