**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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