lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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