Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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