So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
