dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
