so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
