I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
