Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
