There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
