If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
