On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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