Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Quick, to the slutcave!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
