If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
