After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
