The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
