Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
