i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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