This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
