How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize