so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
