actually, I'm a sock model
home. puking in laundry basket.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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