Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
