You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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