i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
