Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
