We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
