I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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