dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
