Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
