Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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