nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
