I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
