I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
