Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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