Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
