he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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