We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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