no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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