marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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