whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
