Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
