butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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