At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
