on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
