Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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