Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
