As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
