My nipple is on Facebook.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
