don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
