Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
