so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
