It's Friday. Sex?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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