I CAN MOONWALK!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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