I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
