I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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