Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
