you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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