if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
