...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
