I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
