1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
